The Couple’s Guide to Money Rules: Building Trust and Teamwork

Welcome back to the Get Naked Series, where we strip away the awkwardness and get real about love, money, and everything in between. If you’ve been following along, you already know that finances in relationships can be trickier than deciding where to eat when you're both hungry, (Seriously, why is that so hard?).

We’ve tackled trust issues and splitting expenses, but what if I told you there’s a way to avoid unnecessary arguments, set expectations, and make financial decisions smoother? Enter: Money Rules.

What are Money Rules?

Money rules are the agreements couples create to guide their spending, saving, and overall financial decision-making. Think of them as the “house rules” for your money—like “no financial discussions after 9 pm” (because some of us need our peace). These rules help keep financial conversations from turning into full-blown courtroom dramas and ensure that both partners feel heard and respected.

Unlike strict budgeting or financial restrictions, money rules serve as a framework for financial decisions, giving both partners clarity and confidence in managing money together. For example, one couple agreed to always discuss purchases over $5,000 in advance, which helped them avoid misunderstandings and build trust. Another rule for couples is to save 10% of every paycheck towards a joint vacation fund, keeping them focused on shared goals while allowing individual spending freedom.

Money Rules can help transform your finances.

The Benefits

●       Reduce Conflict – Clear financial agreements minimize misunderstandings and prevent recurring arguments about money. Imagine avoiding the classic “why did you buy that?” conversation entirely.

●       Promote Fairness – Money rules ensure that both partners feel their contributions and financial roles are acknowledged and respected. For instance, if one partner earns more, they might agree to contribute a higher percentage toward joint expenses.

●       Encourage Transparency – When financial decisions follow agreed-upon guidelines, there’s less room for secrecy and more trust in the relationship.

●       Support Shared Goals – Whether saving for a home, tackling debt, or planning for retirement, money rules help couples stay focused and aligned with their long-term vision.

●       Ease Decision-Making – Having set rules simplifies daily financial choices, reducing stress and uncertainty.

Setting Up Money Rules

Setting money rules isn’t about controlling each other—it’s about creating a system that works for both partners. Before putting any in place, here are a few key things to keep in mind:

1. Money Rules Require Agreement

   
   

   If both partners don’t agree, it’s not a rule—it’s a demand. Rules should work for both of you, not just one person. It’s natural for individuals to have different views on money based on their values, experiences, and habits, so finding common ground is key (more to come in future blogs). Start by discussing each other’s financial priorities and concerns to identify areas where rules could bring clarity and balance.

   
   

2. They Should Be Flexible

   
   

   Life changes, and so should your money rules. Review and adjust them as needed to stay aligned with your goals. For instance, a rule about saving for a car might evolve into saving for a home as priorities shift.

   
   

3. Consistency Builds Trust

   
   

   A rule only works if you follow it. Stick to the plan to avoid financial friction and unnecessary arguments. Celebrate milestones together to reinforce the positive impact of your rules.

   
   

4. They Create Clarity, Not Control

   
   

   Money rules should simplify decisions, not restrict freedom. The goal is teamwork, not policing each other’s spending. Approach the conversation as a partnership, emphasizing how the rules will make life easier for both of you.

   
   

Money rules are a simple yet effective way to create harmony in your financial life as a couple. By starting small and building gradually, you’ll find that this system isn’t just doable—it’s empowering.

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●       What financial topics tend to cause tension in your relationship, and how could a clear money rule help?

●       If you had to set just one money rule today, what would it be and why?

●       How do you and your partner handle financial disagreements? Do you have a system that works, or do emotions tend to take over?

Money Rules help to create financial harmony.